14 Deep Thoughts From 2014

How insane is it that the New Year’s in three freaking days? 2015. As in 2,015 years since BCE ticked over into CE. That’s probably the trippiest time-related concept I’ve attempted to wrap my head around since remembering that I’ll be 30 in two and a half years. Since my habitual New Year’s resolution is not to have a resolution—I’ve got a 100% success rate there, which is great for my ego—I’d rather look back on how thoughts I’ve thunk over the past year. (I picked fourteen things because I’m a nerd and like the symmetry; this might get tougher as we get further into the 21st century, though.)

1. Being immensely valued at work does not make up for being horribly underpaid and having no recourse to push for a raise. (My boss had been campaigning for us to get a raise for ages; I figure losing two coordinators for the same reason within six months will give her some leverage and help settle group reservations upheaval.) I did what I had to do to keep a roof over my head.

2. It might just be an increasingly savvy businesswoman’s reading of cultural trends, but I like the more mature direction Taylor Swift is taking these days. If nothing else, girls will absorb what she says a little more readily than they would random rantings on the internet.

3. Why the fuck does my phone still insist on capitalizing “internet”?? It’s 2014, Apple.

4. When I drink lots of tequila, my inner polyglot comes out. While playing card games with my friend’s in-laws, I kept trying to say something in French, but looking back I’m pretty sure it was a combination of Spanish and German with a French accent. No wonder everyone was looking at me weirdly.

5. It’s not #alllivesmatter, so whiter-than-sour-cream me learned to sit down and shut up while others raged and feared as the American justice system did what we’ve spent nearly 300 years training it to do.

6. It’s a small thing, but I’ve gotten pretty good at working around my iffy fine motor skills to show off some pretty sweet nail art:

Simple, but surprisingly satisfying polka dots on my most favorite rose gold polish.











7. Reactivating an old blog is all fun and games until I come across old posts that sound unbearably naive and show that I hadn’t really grasped the economics of a major life choice—but that choice did get me out of Arkansas, so…

8. My new-ish work philosophy: do the tedious stuff; do the stuff no one—not even me—wants to do; do it quickly, and do it consistently. Then sales people will be more forgiving of tiny mistakes and more inclined to step back when things are insanely busy because ALL OF THEM want something done RIGHT NOW. They also might tear up a little when they find out you’re leaving and offer to be references even before you can ask.

9. Never underestimate the power of a good cherry-red lipstick.

10. I took selfies. A lot of them. I took silly selfies and serious selfies and look at these even eyeliner flicks, Ma selfies. Because screw it, I liked how I looked in those moments, and no one’s going to tell me it’s bragging or narcissism or whatever Me, Me, Me Millennial thing Time bemoaned.

I look good, y'all
I look good, y’all, and I want the world to celebrate with me.

11. I realized about halfway through the year that I have genuine Tumblr friends whom I’ve never actually met; I watch for personal text posts about life and health and dating, and try to be as supportive as I can—because they’ve been there for me. And I always make sure to like their selfies.

12. Canned chicken+canned green beans+rice noodles (+a fuck-ton of sesame oil and teriyaki) totally=a decently nutritious meal that I can make without blowing up my kitchen. Look Ma, I’m cooking!

13. One is never too old for three things: dinosaur spaghetti o’s, Pokemon games, and Disney movies.

14. Years seriously do get shorter as I get older. When I was five a year was a whole one-fifth of my life; now it’s one-twenty-seventh of it. So it’s totally possible to blink in April and end up in November.


Au revoir, 2014!
Au revoir, 2014!

Sparkler via pixabay


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