Dearest, Darlingest, Most Adorable Kasey:
I’m only seven years down the road, but I want you to know:
- Embrace “adorable.” Be so adorable that your name appears as part of the definition in the OED. This gives you an edge when all the other girls are trying to be sexy/sultry/Britney Spears.
- You might not have your own personal style now, but be patient. It will develop and you will be adorable; think Boho Chic and Hipster. And don’t sneer at skinny jeans.
- Take choir in college. It will feed your soul like little else can.
- Embrace the curls. Get bangs. Everyone will love your hair.
- Pierce your nose even though Mom will ask you not to; pierce your ears a second time even though Dad will ask you not to.
- Don’t be afraid to try Chai tea, Pad Thai, or Jambalaya—this will blow your culinary horizons wide open.
- Stand up for people, especially when people try to bully you into keeping quiet…and don’t be afraid to prove that you’re smarter than the bullies. Relish it, since this really pisses them off.
- Dive into life headfirst. Consider grad schools across the country.
- Take lots of classes with Dr. Tenace; he’s scary and brusque, sure, but the man knows his field and will prove invaluable to you professionally.
And, perhaps most important:
- LOOK BOTH WAYS when you back out of parking spots. Just trust me.