Pain’s a funny concept; you’re supposed to objectively quantify to a completely separate party, how much/where it hurts.The medical authorities offer you a rather inadequate system of various faces and numbers. Granted, the system is for kids, who (mostly) lack the proper vocabulary to describe pain. I wouldn’t put using it past some adults, though. Frankly, I think “it feels like Jigsaw is dragging barbed thumbtacks up and down my arm for being too clingy” describes things better than oh, say, “four”.
As it turns out, Allie of Hyperbole and a Half apparently feels the same way. Her modified pain scale includes all numbers 0-11 and even includes a super-handy “Beyond Numbers” option. They probably won’t want to display that in emergency rooms—it’s kind of graphic—but why not put it on the back of the kiddie version? That way a thirteen-year-old boy can pick the appropriate option and not feel dumb about using a visual mnemonic. Including a face that’s bleeding from the eyes has to increase its street cred, right? Right? Not being a thirteen-year-old boy, I wouldn’t know; my brother doesn’t count, either. Dad’s convinced that I sissified him when I made him play barbies and tea party with me all those years. Can any other teenage boys check it out for me? Kthnxbye.
*inspired by the linked blog post. Check it and the rest of her stuff out. Hilarious. Seriously, if you’re not even chuckling by the end of it, I weep for humanity.