Pain*

Pain’s a funny concept; you’re supposed to objectively quantify to a completely separate party, how much/where it hurts.The medical authorities offer you a rather inadequate system of various faces and numbers. Granted, the system is for kids, who (mostly) lack the proper vocabulary to describe pain. I wouldn’t put using it past some adults, though. Frankly, I think “it feels like Jigsaw is dragging barbed thumbtacks up and down my arm for being too clingy” describes things better than oh, say, “four”.

Seriously, I would've picked the other one even as a kid. I was weird like that.

As it turns out, Allie of Hyperbole and a Half apparently feels the same way. Her modified pain scale includes all numbers 0-11 and even includes a super-handy “Beyond Numbers” option.  They probably won’t want to display that in emergency rooms—it’s kind of graphic—but why not put it on the back of the kiddie version? That way a thirteen-year-old boy can pick the appropriate option and not feel dumb about using a visual mnemonic. Including a face that’s bleeding from the eyes has to increase its street cred, right? Right? Not being a thirteen-year-old boy, I wouldn’t know; my brother doesn’t count, either. Dad’s convinced that I sissified him when I made him play barbies and tea party with me all those years. Can any other teenage boys check it out for me? Kthnxbye.

*inspired by the linked blog post. Check it and the rest of her stuff out. Hilarious. Seriously, if you’re not even chuckling by the end of it, I weep for humanity.

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